Tuesday, March 15, 2011

It's "Tradition"

Now that the big Spring Trunk Show is over I now am ready to concentrate on my daughters wedding.
Well, "kind of", wedding. You see they are already married. 
Let me back up 5 months....

You may remember Burbank  Baby who soon graduated to Action Hero status when she decided to ramp up her life by jumping out of flying things.

Well, her "friend" who was around "visiting" for about a year was announced that he had moved up the ranks into "Boy Friend" status. Not more than three weeks later we were told that it once again had moved up into "Engagement". 
The Friend was soon to become my first Son in Law!
His name is Jesus, pronounced "Hey Seuss" as in Doctor Seuss. That should make it very easy for me to remember his name. 
So, do you think I could call him that?

I, for some reason refer to him as Jesus when speaking to others correctly but, when I am face to face,
I call him Jose!

I have no idea why and it now has become quite embarrassing. I would love to blame it on something profound but I have not come up with anything good as of yet. If you have any ideas, please let me know.

Now this is where the fun begins....

 On any ol', regular November  morning, I awoke and made myself a cup of coffee. I picked up my phone to see if I had received any messages over night because I have become quite a social networking kind of gal.

Oh, look. I have a text from Action Hero
It reads, "Getting married at the recorders office at 10:30 am today. Be there."
I turn to Hubbie and say, "Hun, get up were going to a wedding!"

I phoned a friend and asked her what she was doing at that moment. 
Her reply, "Making eggs". 
Which I then asked if she would run quickly to Safeway and pick me up a dozen roses and meet me in the Second Street parking garage.
The great and dutiful friend she is, followed direction and asked very few questions.
I then made a phone call to Action Hero and asked her what she was wearing.
She replies," I don't know yet. I'm at Target. It is the only place open right now besides Wal-Mart".

Within the next hour I am dressed, holding a mini bouquet of Safeway roses, wrapped in a left over cream ribbon that I found in the backseat of the car and sitting inside a 12 x 15 foot room inside our County Recorders office. Decorated with maroon carpeting, dusty rose chairs, two perfectly pleated burgundy polyester drapes, lovingly tied back to expose a photo mural of Napa Valley grapevines with mustard in bloom and a fake green plant sitting on top of a white wicker stand.

My daughter, beautifully adorned in her early morning Target attire and my new son in law Jose...I mean Jesus repeated their vows both in English and in Spanish for the five witnesses present.

 The entire ceremony took three minutes. The fact that it was bilingual helped extend the time.

 We took a hand full of pictures against the vineyard wall art and were then kicked out of the room because there was another wedding waiting.
"Anyone up for breakfast?" says, the new Father of the Bride.

Now for all of you who think we got off easy and are forwarding this post to your daughters in hopes that they will follow suit and relishing the good fortune we had with the lack of emotions, shopping, tastings, dress shops, bridesmaids, family dramas, cake, invitations etc.....
We are now in the throws of having a wedding. Not your ordinary wedding like you see in the movies or on the wedding blogs. 
This is what is called an authentic Latino Catholic wedding....well, kind of. 

 The words authentic or traditional are "Not" in Action Heros vocabulary. 
So, the wedding is becoming more and more interesting each day. 

 It seems that there are very  "traditional" ceremonial events that will need to be taking place. These have been requested by the new inlaws.
Each time something is questioned the answer is, 
"it's tradition".
 Action Hero and her lack of "Tradition" seems to be countering by expressing
her creative abilities in strange and unique ways.

This is the cover of the wedding invitations that were just mailed. Action Hero with her ability to photoshop any face into any photo has created what I have to admit is the most creative wedding invitation I have ever seen.

I was just informed that the first dance song was chosen by running through the Nokia phone ring tones and "Fur elise" was the song of choice.

 It's "tradition", from what I am told.
Not sure if it's the choosing a song from a phone or the song itself that is "tradition".
 Action Hero having the ability then to choose the second song has  now chosen,
"Move, Shake and Drop" by DJ Laz FT. Pitbull & Flo Rida. 

It was either that or "Get Low" by Flo Rida,
for Hubbie and I, to attend to the dance floor with our new family. 

No matter what, we lack the ability to roll with the  Rumba, Sumba or Salsa but, promise to make a valiant effort for our daughter.

I was holding out for a little "Night Moves," by Bob Segar or

 "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy," by Rod Stewart. 

 At least that way in my mind I will look just as cool 
as I thought I looked
when I danced to them the last time.......30 years ago!
Now that's "Tradition"!


Kai said...

Okay. You have just broke RULE NUMBER ONE: Never write hysterically funny posts that make your readers spew their morning cover over the computer screen. Said posts MUST not be published until AFTER 10 A.M.! (It's tradition!) LOL! OMG! If awards were given (and I say they SHOULD be) for BEST BLOG POST EVEN IF IT DID BREAK THE PRE-10 A.M. 'FUNNY' RULE, YOU would win it hands down! Congratulations on your daughter's marriage, and you HAVE to update us on the actual wedding! (But don't you DARE post it while I'm drinking coffee! Or AT LEAST make sure it comes with a "WARNING: HILARIOUS CONTENT!" preface! Hugs & coffee-spewing laughter to you!

Lisa Oceandreamer Swifka said...

You are so funny you should be writing a column a la Erma Bombeck. Seriously, your talents know no bounds and now they include stand up too!
I can't wait to hear how all the details come together AND what the bride wears....will your sewing machine be humming?
Look out....calling you Grandma may be next. ;)

Donna said...

Oh my gosh!! I'm nearly wetting my pants here!! I just keep hearing Fiddler on the Roof singing "tradition". I am so emailing this to my daughter who is yet to get married and to the one that did with all the frills!! I love it.